


Say Something

by christeh251298



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Burns, Cutting, M/M, Past Abuse, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 21:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1483993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christeh251298/pseuds/christeh251298
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One slip of the tongue and Liam’s heart breaks. Louis couldn’t stand the silence Liam gives him, finally making a fatal decision and mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> There might be triggers for some people. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable with these topics, then stop reading. I don't want to cause people to self-harm or commit suicide or something like that. Enjoy and go with the feels. xx

Liam still can’t get over his death. But then again, who can get over their lover’s death that quickly?

He was his one soul mate, his forever-and-ever, his everything. But he left because he just wasn’t happy. Liam would have thought that being with him was enough for his lover to be happy, to stay on this earth. To stay with him.

But the pain of his past was too much. It overwhelmed the happiness and love he was receiving from Liam.

 

_“Say something.”_

 

Half of Liam died the same day Louis killed himself. Liam simply couldn’t picture his life with anyone else. Could not, and would not. He blames himself everyday for Louis’ death to be honest. He could have saved him; he could still be here if only he had **said something**.

 

_“Say something.”_

 

Liam wonders why he hadn’t. It was so simple; one simple phrase, three simple words. Pride is always the enemy. The knowledge that he had Louis begging for him made him feel…pride. But he shouldn’t have.

He really should have just **said something**.

 

_“Say something.”_

 

Liam still remembers Louis’ death like it was yesterday.

It was quite an ordinary day. The sun was out, although there were a few white clouds blocking the blue sky. However, things were not so well in the lovers’ household.

 

_“Louis?”_

_Clang!_

_“What do you think you’re doing?”_

_“I—I just—“_

_“You promised you would stop!”_

_“But i-it j-just—“_

_“It just what? Huh? The razor just BEGGED you to pick it up and draw, what, ten lines across your wrist? You were doing so well, and you’re back to your old miserable state! What the actual fuck, Louis?”_

_Louis started crying._

_“I-I c-can’t help i-it!”_

_“Then fucking get a grip! You can’t just slit your wrists and expect everything to be okay!”_

_“I-It was too m-much! I—they—I just—“_

_“I just can’t believe you, Louis! After five fucking years! Am I not enough for you?”_

_“No—“_

_“Do I not tell you ‘I love you’ everyday?”_

_“No I—“_

_“Do I just not make you happy?”_

_“No, Liam! Never!”_

_“Then what is your fucking problem?”_

_He gasps._

_“Wh—Wh—What?”_

_“Oh, so you’re just supposed to give some excuse about how you’re depressed and always will be? I don’t fucking buy it, Louis. Can’t you fucking get over yourself because this is affecting everyone!”_

_“I-It’s n-not that e-easy—“_

_“Like hell, it isn’t easy! You need medical help; you’re—you’re a—a—freak!”_

_Louis is now full on sobbing and crying hysterically._

_“I get it! I’m a freak! I’ll never be normal! I’ll always have the urge to cut, or stick a finger down my throat, or maybe even press a cigarette butt on my skin. I will always have the urge to stab myself in the throat, or—or throw myself off a tall building, an-and hang myself from a fucking lamppost. But do you know why I never did any of those things? Huh? BECAUSE I MET YOU! You’re so perfect, and caring, and just—you just loved me. I never had someone love me before, not even my family. Not my sisters, not my father, not even my own mother! YOU know that! YOU know why I’m like this! So don’t you FUCKING dare ask me what’s MY problem! Okay? Because you know perfectly well what it is!”_

_Louis was sprawled across the bathroom floor, slightly hyperventilating and clawing at his own hair._

_“Yeah, I get it, you have fucking problems, okay. I’m just fucking SICK of picking up all your pieces after you deliberately smash your heart onto the floor and stomp on it every FUCKING time! Stop thinking that you’re the only one that has family issues! I was fucking dumped on a stranger’s doorstep at birth, Louis! Don’t come to me about all these oh-so-tragic issues that you have!”_

_“You know that’s different!”_

_“How?”_

_“YOU DIDN’T GET FUCKING ABUSED EVERY FUCKING DAY!”_

_“Oh, really? Like those beatings that got me landed in the hospital every fucking day was nothing compared to your petty little punches that your daddy gives you.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Bet you loved it because you could show it off to every single, fucking person!”_

_“Shut up!”_

_“You’re just a little attention seeker!”_

_“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”_

_Both boys were breathing heavily. They were so caught up in their pride that they pushed aside their immense love for each other. Louis realized how badly they were fighting. So he tried to stop it; Liam didn’t._

_“What are we doing?”_

_“We’re obviously talking about your attention-seeking addiction.”_

_“Would you stop?”_

_“I’ll stop when you do.”_

_“You know I can’t control myself that well.”_

_“Obviously.”_

_“Would you just—“ Deep breath. “—I really don’t want to talk about this.”_

_“Louis, if we don’t talk about it now, someday you’re going to cut yourself too deep and you won’t be able to come back.”_

_“Well, maybe I don’t want to. There’s nothing here for me anyway.”_

_Liam swears his heart stopped beating. Louis’ eyes widened the same time Liam’s heart broke._

_“I didn’t mean that.”_

_“Save it, Louis.”_

_Liam walked off. Louis followed, blood still dripping down his arm._

_“Fuck, Liam! I didn’t mean that!”_

_Liam goes into their bedroom._

_“Liam!”_

_Liam sits on their bed, rubbing his face with both his hands. Louis literally kneels in front of his legs._

_“Liam, please. Look at me.”_

_Liam avoided Louis’ tear-streaked face, knowing that if he looked into those beautiful blue eyes, he would be back in the love trap._

_“Please, baby. I love you. Please.”_

_Louis rests his forehead on Liam’s knees, now begging and crying._

_“Please, baby. I really, really love you. It just—I—it slipped out, I swear. I love you, Liam, more than anything and everything. Please, please. I know you don’t want to be the one to piece up my broken heart every time and I get that. I’ll stop. I’ll stop. I’ll—I am going to stop for you, just you. You’re special to me, don’t—I—please. Please don’t shut me out. Please.”_

_Tears are slowly dripping from Liam’s brown eyes. He still refused to look at his lover. Louis grasps Liam’s arm. Liam only turned his head further away._

_“Talk to me.”_

_Louis was so scared. He was so scared that it was the end for the both of them. He was now trembling uncontrollably, his hands now grabbing both of Liam’s arms, shaking his broad, muscular body._

_“Liam!”_

_Liam looked down and shook his head._

**_“Say something.”_ **

_There was a new kind of tone to Louis’ voice. What Liam didn’t know was that Louis thought if he didn’t love him, he would give up. Forever._

_Liam dared himself to look into Louis’ eyes, and boy, were they beautiful. So much sadness and regret swirled in those eyes, masked by happiness and calmness. He never looked at him long enough to see how Louis’ eyes turned dim when Liam looked away again, how they were hollow and dead._

_Liam stood up, ignoring Louis’ burning gaze on his back, and walked out the bedroom door._

_When Liam came back from his three-hour walk to clear his head, with full intentions of apologizing to Louis about their argument and his ignorance, he found drops of blood and a long piece of rope tied to their bedframe leading out the bedroom window._

_Liam fully swung the door open, rushing to the window only to find his lover’s body, dangling limp with a piece of rope around his neck. He could only barely make out the blood still dripping from the ends of his fingertips._

_Liam choked a sob._

_“No. No! No, no, no, no, no!” his voice slowly escalating from a muffled whisper to loud yells._

_His shivering hands fumbled with his phone for a while, finally dialing the number he needed._

_“Yes, it’s Liam Payne. My fiancé—he—I—he just—dead!” he choked out to the police officer on the other end of the phone._

_He waited for the officer to reply._

_“You are absolutely sure he’s dead?”_

_“YES, HE’S FUCKING DEAD. THERE’S A FUCKING ROPE AROUND HIS NECK AND HIS BODY IS FUCKING DANGLING FROM THE FUCKING BEDROOM WINDOW!” he burst in anger when the officer asked him the outrageous question._

_“Yes, calm down sir. Tell us your address and we’ll send some people over,” the officer replied calmly._

_Liam gave out his address and hung up. Before he started crying again, he spotted a note on his bedside table._

_Louis’ suicide note._

 

It was now two years since Louis’ suicide in their own bedroom, their own fucking house. Liam still cries himself to sleep every night, mourning for his lover every single day. He never tries to find someone else, knowing that his true love had already come and gone. Sometimes he wishes that he could rewind time to just say ‘I love you’ to him one last time, because Louis really deserves to know that he was truly loved.

 

Liam clutched Louis’ suicide note in his hands. It was a really devastating memoir to keep of his happy lover, but it was the only thing that kept him sane anymore.

 

_Liam, my love, my soul mate, my one and only,_

_I’m sorry about what I said. I truly am. I was just mad because whenever people tried to convince me to stay, that’s what I always told them. I guess it’s a force of habit. There is only one thing that makes me stay, and that is your love. I guess you really don’t want to see me this way. I’m a mess right now, you have no idea. I just swallowed like, ten tablets of sleeping pills. Even if you come soon enough, you won’t be able to save me. It feels weird telling you how I plan, or planned, to commit suicide. Of course, I presume you saw the rope and the blood. Uhm, it’s—I just can’t take it anymore. All the stuff I said earlier in our fight, what I told you I wanted to do to myself. I’ve done it all during this hour. (It’s 4:37pm, by the way.)_

_I took ten sleeping pills, and then I got a lighter from the cupboard and burnt myself right near my collarbone. It’s where you love to give me love bites the most. Just thought I’d mark it for you, so even people in heaven or hell would know who I belong to. (I’ll have to write this in past tense so it makes sense. I know how much you love proper grammar. I’ll miss that.) I took my razor from the bathroom; still a bit woozy but I can still walk. You know, it’s kind of like I’m drunk or just tipsy, just more deadly, I guess. Anyway, I tied the rope to the favourite spot you like to put your right hand on when you top. (I would say don’t show this to my parents, but they don’t care anyway.) I secured the rope around my neck, nice and tight. I picked up my razor and just slashed at every inch of skin I could see. Some blood got onto the carpet. Sorry. I’m going to slash the main vein. Then I throw myself out the window. The most dramatic suicide, don’t you think? (I’ve always loved drama, you know that.)_

_Before I actually do any of those things (remember, we’re still in present time), I just want to let you know that I’m dying with a broken heart. It’s not your fault at all; I broke my own heart. I flat-out told you that I didn’t want to live, even for you. I saw that broken look in your eye the minute I said it. You can’t even deny it, I know that broken look very well. I see it every time I look in the mirror. What I’m trying to say is that, when I broke your heart, mine did as well. Because our hearts are one. Two hearts united by love. It’s cheesy and cliché, but it’s true. I truly love you with all my heart, and I can’t stand the fact that I was the one to drive you away, that I was the one who made you fall out of love with me. You didn’t say it. You didn’t say ‘I love you’. I guess that’s entirely my fault when I told you that you weren’t living for, which is absolutely bullshit. You’re the only reason I stayed alive for these extra seven years._

_I guess I should start actually doing the stuff I mentioned. I will love you forever and ever. I promised. And that is a promise that I will never break. Hopefully I’ll see you again when you’re old and wrinkly, although I doubt that perfect little Liam would end up in hell like I probably will._

_Yours forever, ever and ever_

_Louis Tomlinson_

 

Liam’s sobs were even louder than before. He just couldn’t take it anymore. There was an aching in his heart that never healed after his Louis died. He couldn’t think of another way to numb that pain other than doing exactly what his lover did.

He sat down, gulped down ten sleeping tablets, and grabbed a piece of paper, and then started to write.

 

_Dear all (to whoever finds this, my iPhone passcode is 2412, search up Mom, Hazza, Nialler and Zaynieboy),_

_I think you all expected this. At least not this late. I think you all expected me to just kill myself right after Louis died. I tried to stay strong, I really did. But I think you all knew that I wasn’t really living unless Louis was by my side._

_Harry, Niall and Zayn. I’m really sorry that I left just like this. You guys should understand though. You saw how happy I was when Louis was still alive. Heck, you guys were here for my proposal to him. You guys also saw how miserable I was, even to today. I appreciate what you guys wanted to do to help me out of ‘my funk’, but I just don’t feel right being with anyone other than Louis. Which is what I’m intending to do right now. Please understand that I just want to be happy again. During these two years, I finally understood what Louis was feeling, and I just wanted to tell you guys that it sucks. It sucks having depression, but you can’t help it, because a part of you is missing. It’s just gone and you feel like you can’t patch it up again. I really hope you guys understand, and you would allow me to be happy._

_Mom, dad, Ruth, Nicola. Well, you all know how depressed I really am. Thanks for letting me burying myself in your living room couch, mom. Really, I’m truly grateful for that. Ruth and Nicola, I love you guys so much. I left because I couldn’t stand being without Louis. You girls both are happily married with wonderful husbands, and just think about it this way. If your lovers went away somewhere, would you stay where you are, moping and wondering how he is and where he is, or would you follow him to wherever he is, just to hold him and be happy with him? I’m trying to follow Louis’ path, because I want to find him. I want to just hold his hand, hug his tiny, slim waist and just kiss him senseless. Because I would never find anyone quite like him. No one would ever compare to him._

_I love all of you guys, and you guys don’t have to be sad that I’m gone. When I’m finally with Louis, I’ll be happy. I’ll be in love and I’ll be with him. My happiness died when he did, and so did a part of me. Everything just reminds me of him, and I can’t stand living when he’s not. So please, don’t be sad for me. Be happy that I’ll finally be with Louis after two years of suffering. I have put Louis’ suicide note next to mine. You can keep both of them, but remember to always keep both of them together. Because I wouldn’t want them to be apart like Louis and I were for two years. I love you guys, and I hope you live your lives to the fullest like Louis and I did when we fell in love._

_With all my love,_

_Liam Payne_

**March 17 th, 2017**

**The new Romeo and Juliet**

**People of Wolverhampton are devastated to find out that another one of their beloved and precious citizens have been found hanging dead from the same bedroom window in which another suicide was committed not only two years ago. Some citizens might have called it haunted, but others know the real story.**

**Two years ago, Louis Tomlinson, the deceased fiancé of the suicide victim, had been discovered in the same way Liam Payne had been found yesterday. Facts state that it was Payne himself that found his lover, hanging limp from the bedroom window with his entire body covered and dripping with blood. Payne’s family, who had been close to Tomlinson, admits that Tomlinson had been diagnosed with depression at a young age of 16. Sources also stated that loud shouts and arguing could be heard around three hours before the body was discovered. Although some people might suspect that Tomlinson’s suicide was a murder, Payne had not been at the scene when the suicide was committed.**

**Payne, aged 23, has been found on March 16 th 2017, hanging from his bedroom window in a successful attempt of suicide. He was discovered in the same state that his late fiancé was found in, most likely an attempt to honor the way his lover died only two years ago. Family and friends of Payne are mourning over their horrific loss, but stating that “[Payne] would have wanted [them] to be happy, because he is with his lover now”.**

**The tragic story of romance will live in our hearts for many years to come, maintaining the memory of the tragedy ‘Romeo and Juliet’, thanks to these two honorable and brave gentlemen, who gave away their lives to be happy and to be with one another. Boys, we send a salute and kiss to wherever you are now, giving you all the wishes for happiness and joy.**

**Reporter: Calder, Eleanor**


End file.
